Don't Compare, Be Inspired

Insecure Writer's Support Group--September Edition

This past week, my good friend and myself started to talk about writing. We're both working hard on our series and trying to get them complete and out into the world. She is quite a bit further than myself and is progressing at a level I wish I could accomplish now.

But, I was surprised when she said she didn't feel like she was doing near enough. This is a girl who is working full-time, about to get started her semester, dealing with crazy family adventures, and life in general. And she STILL has a work in progress that is being written with great care, emotion, and time. Yet she still felt like it was not enough.

She was comparing herself to another author who would lock himself up for weeks and do nothing but write, hours a day, non-stop.

It didn't seem right to me. She is such a talented, incredible writer who is writing on a full-time schedule and she still doesn't feel like it is enough.

Being a writer, new to the field, is very hard to see the greatness you have in your hands. I think most everyone compares themselves to someone else. I know I have! Back to Christopher Paolini--the guy got his story out when he was younger than myself. How can I not compare myself to that? How can I not feel lazy when he got a best-selling, movie inspiring book so young? Or the fact that my friend is so far ahead when we started at around the same time?

You can't do this. It pressures you in a way I don't think is healthy. You're comparing yourself to someone different, with a different life, from a different time and it is not fair to you or your work.

If you have a life outside of writing, don't sacrifice it (job, family, health, school, etc.). By doing that you will probably hurt yourself and, in turn, your writing.

If you feel too pressured you're going to rush, you're going to lose your writing style, and you will add even more time to your schedule because you will have to go back and rewrite AGAIN.

You need to be who you are as you write. You also need to be fair to yourself. Not everyone works the exact same. Some work great on a tight schedule and under pressure. Some don't. Some are able to get hours in of writing during a full life-schedule and some can only get in thirty minutes. Some authors had nothing to do but write and the majority of people today have everything to do except write.

Don't let your confidence be shaken in who you are as a writer because others write more. Instead, you need to be inspired from their accomplishments. That author get published younger than you? Take it as a healthy challenge to get just a bit more time set aside for writing.

There is a difference between feeling pressured by comparing yourself to an author and being inspired by them. I need to stop thinking I'm not a hard-worker because I am not finished with my first book. My friend needs to stop thinking she isn't one because she doesn't lock herself up to write. And others need to stop thinking that they are less of a writer if they don't get something accomplished by a certain time.

We all have our own personal beat. Don't try to copy someone else's if it really doesn't work for you.

Another little advice to go with this: Don't be afraid to go to someone on occasion to get an ego-boost! You certainly don't want to make a habit of it, because as writers we need critiques to progress and evolve. However, it is because we are writers that we need to get some compliments about something that we are doing.

Writing is a difficult task, even if you're doing it just for fun. This is something that takes hard-work and  a lot of emotion. It is very easy to get lost and down because of how long it is taking to write something to the fact the work is getting rejected. Go to a friend, family, or fellow writer and ask if they can just tell you the good things about your work for that day.

Sometimes, the critiques and things that need to change or what we need to do to get better overwhelms us and overshadows what we're doing great on. So go out there and take in some positive feedback. You deserve it.

How to Write...

...when you simply don't want to.

 

Cause man, there are times I just DON’T want to write. I don’t mean a writer’s block, there are ideas there…but no drive to write them down. And it’s not just about my novel. I just feel lazy to do useful stuff. I won’t go and read and review blogs, write my fanfiction, write updates for my own blog, etc.

There is just simply a sense of laziness where I just feel like I don’t even want to pick up a pencil. The things on TV or YouTube just sound so much more intriguing. Even things that would typically inspire me to write just don’t shine like they would typically.

It’s like a whiny pre-teen saying “the world doesn’t want me to!”. Thank goodness, I realized instantly it was my own fault, but even that didn’t get me to writing anything.

So what to do when there is no drive to attempt to do any writing?

In truth, I’m not a 100% sure myself.

This round, I had to just let it pass on its own. Forcing myself to get into a writing mood, to think of a new post for the blog, even going and reading & reviewing….it didn’t work out. It certainly made me feel pretty bad about not doing anything, but even that didn’t move me enough.

It just had to happen when it was meant to happen.

But first a question; is it a real bad thing to not want to write?

At first, I would say “OMG YES” because it is emotionally taxing to not do your passion. I feel like I am missing out on opportunities. Deadlines and goals I had made for myself are slipping away. I’m being far too lazy for it to be beneficial.

However, there is another side to this.

Let’s look at it from a physical stance. Anyone who works out and does sports probably knows you gotta have at least one day of rest so you don’t damage your body. And your body can give you signs that it needs to stop. Perhaps this was my mind telling me it needed a break.

After all, you can’t look at the same thing every day and catch something new. A break just might be needed to find the things you were missing.

After this “lazy break”, I am finding new sides to my story, finding awkward things I had missed over, inspired to write about it in this post…and it is possible all of this is coming through because of stopping.

But, I will be the first to admit I don’t think I went about it the best way. I think I went a few weeks without any type of progression with my writing. If it was a Writer’s Block, yes it would stink, but it would feel more like I was sick. This, as a mentioned before, feels like I was just lazy and didn’t even try to become inspired.

Taking a break is one thing. Letting it work itself out isn’t that bad either. But I’m not sure if I made enough of an attempt to get over this lazy hump. I was simply too lazy to try.

So, in simple terms I always think it never hurts to try…even when you really don’t want too. Even just a sentence or two that you might scrap later, it is still something you did and tried for. If that is all you can manage that one day, well, you had a good shot!

I think it should be done, not because I am anti-lazy or having a pity-fest about my lack of writing, but because you never know what will be the thing to re-ignite the writing spark.

I’ll leave off with a quote from Writer’s Digest;

“One thing that helps is to give myself permission to write badly. I tell myself that I’m going to do my five or ten pages no matter what, and that I can always tear them up the following morning if I want. I’ll have lost nothing—writing and tearing up five pages would leave me no further behind than if I took the day off.” -- Lawrence Block (June 1981)

Always try. I don’t think there is ever a loss to trying, but there can be great loss in not.

Learning to Let Go

I realized after I posted, I missed the Insecure Writer's Support Group: July Edition by one day, so I will make this one mine, if that is legal.

I will start off by just saying life loves to get in the way of writing. It’s madness! But school and computer problems and illness just always sneak up and overwhelms you when you really don’t need it. And Princess Peach, you can’t just leave her locked in the tower! I mean…it’s not right.

Anyway, the distractions aside, it is time to get back to business.

I am in the process of another re-write of my novel.  At the moment the prologue is being rewritten for about the eighth time and I am finding myself at a point that most writers probably face: when you have to let go.

Except for about the first two or three editions, the book has always started with the line “Once upon a time, war was the dream of the people” and now I am finding myself so hooked on to this one sentence I have based every re-write since then on that one sentence alone.

And, like my writer’s identity, I wasn’t fully aware I was doing it until I had a slap-in-the-face realization.

My start chapter might start off with a line I am proud of, but everything following after has always sounded stale, forced, and just plain “meh”. Is that one line really worth it?

For a long time, it was.

How on earth did that happen? Though I am a writer and though I want to write a book, I can’t forget about the fact that these are just words. Though the words create something great, they are still words.

And I should not let a few words, a sentence, a paragraph, a page, or a chapter control and constrict the story as a whole. Things might be shared through the words, but they aren’t the only things that are contributing to the book.

So, I have to let these words go. Though painful, it is just what has to be done for the greater good of the novel.

I found I had to give myself a stern talking to. I needed to sit down and converse with Randi and myself before I finally deleted them and left myself with a completely blank page. It is rejuvenating, inspiring, and heartbreaking all at the same time.

Now, how to let it go? Well, in all honesty, I don’t think anyone can till they realize they are ready for it themselves. My best friend and mentor probably couldn’t get me to let it go until I was ready. Heck, the most distinguished published author probably couldn’t have gotten me to let it go either.

Because these words just mean so much during creation, and that love and pride just get in the way. Not until I or anyone else is ready can those words be deleted.

And man, once they are, I look back and go “what the heck was wrong with me?”. It feels like so much time was wasted! I could’ve let it go earlier and moved on! But I have to remember:

Not until I am ready. And everyone goes at their own proper, healthy, right pace. Rushing, typically, just won’t help. I think pushing myself is good, to work and try to get things accomplished after so long of not writing or to meet a goal…but like the words; that time-line is not worth the destruction of the story!

That, I think, is what the kicker is. When the realization that the story is worth more than this one lovely thing, then everything starts to fall more into play. But it does stink waiting for that moment to finally click.

What about your experience? Has there been something that you just struggled with letting go? Please share!

My Writer's Identity

After reading my friend’s, Randi Lee, post about insecurity, it really made me aware of myself and bring into light a denial I just haven’t faced.

I don’t really know who I am in this writing world.

I know what genre I like, I’m pretty sure I know my strong points when it concerns writing, I’m also sure where I struggle at. But when it comes down to the writing world, I’m lost.

I wanted to write a blog about writing to help promote my writing, meet new people, get advice, and perhaps give out advice in return. However, I find that I am looking far too much at what everyone else is doing to influence my own.

Instead of being inspired, I think I am conforming and hiding behind a mask of what people think is cool to fit into a clique. It’s like I’m treating this like it is high school or something. Which makes it all the more concerning because I didn’t act like this during the awkward teenage years.

This might be happening for a few reasons. One is I think all of this means just so much to me. Writing, stepping outside of my comfort zone, getting published, and meeting people who are not only interested in writing itself but my writing as well.

Sad thing is, if I keep doing what I am doing I will be defeating that purpose. No one will be hearing my real voice. It would just be me following after the words of others and trying to reach their fame rather than start my own way.

Inspiration is one thing, changing yourself to win the affection and attention of others is something else entirely. And I feel if I am not there yet I am on the path. I am worrying about the wrong stuff on the site.

Another thing is, which brings back to why this was inspired by Randi’s post, is that I have always been a very insecure person. For the majority of my life I have been the second or in the background. Never really had friends, when I made friends I was there mostly for backup, blended into the background and acknowledged when something was needed.

Now, this isn’t said for pity. I have a few great friends now who are really supporting and see me. It’s more of an explanation on why I might be using this writing blog for a very wrong reason.

Of course, this isn’t to say that the words I have said below are fake and shallow. I do mean what I say actually. Rather it’s how I came about writing some of them, or how I will study what other’s say for my own profit of “fame” rather than absorbing their advice in. Instead of reading the impressive words of some blogger I might look at how they write their bio or how they have their blog set up. I wonder about petty things; is mine not as impressive looking? Does my bio turn people off? Should I make things look more like them? Maybe I should work on how I say things.

But does all of this stuff really matter? Does it even matter to have an “identity” here? Why do I feel like I have to be somebody to write out things I want to write?  Why do I try to be Randi Lee when she is Randi Lee and I am Paige Lollie?

So, perhaps this blog isn’t just about writing and sharing advice and everything I mentioned before. Right now it seems more like an exploration of who I am as a blogger, a writer, and a person.

This blog isn’t about deadlines, it’s not about getting ratings or followers, and it’s not about just spewing out whatever “emotional” nonsense I can find in my mind simply because it sounds like something someone else would read because it is something sorta similar to what someone impressive said.

So this has to stop. I gotta write honestly and be honest. I can’t hide behind someone else’s words. I don’t think it works to create an identity for yourself. That makes it sound like I’m one of those stereotypical creepers on a dating site that parodies are made for (the ‘is this picture of you from this universe?’ thing).

It’s about finding your identify. Which honestly, I think I have a long way to go for. But at least now I’m on the right path. Now I can start writing more about what I feel like writing rather than worry about how it will sound or if it will be super useful.

Though there aren’t many reading my stuff now (which came off sounding a little emo) I am coming out to tell you more about myself and be warned; I’m nerdy (look out for quotes), I apologize and worry a lot (Randi can support this fact lol), I go from sounding like a pre-teen to a forty year old in a blink, and I tend to be a bit overly descriptive and poetic in my words (Meyer got nothing on me and my adjectives).

Hello, my name is Paige Lollie. This blog is who I am. Please to meet you.

Dreaming the Written Word

It never ceases to amaze me where inspiration for stories can come from.

Within one of my first semesters at my university, I came up with a story in my head by just looking at the spiral patterns on the tile floor. A story was there, literally, on the floor. A vampire's face was in a woman's neck and they were in Victorian style clothing, and slowly the story came to me. Though I should've paid more attention to the class, I just couldn't help but stare at this image and get a story rolling in my head.

My good friend Randi Lee has been inspired by a coffee-table. She said to me, "I was bored and observing my aunt's coffee table. There were knicks and coffee stains all over it. So I sat there and pondered how each of those stains and scratches came to be. I weaved a story about the people who used the table and what they might have used it for." Randi even made a poem of it that is simply amazing.

Inspiration can come from anywhere. And you shouldn't ever shrug off an idea just because it comes from a very unusual place. And sometimes you just gotta get out there and simply (be creepy) and stare. Does that chewed up piece of gum look like a deformed face of George Washington and now you have a zombie apocalypse novel? Write it! Did you come up with the back story of a model on a billboard? Write it! Miss-read a word and misinterpreted what was said? Write it!

Sometimes the most fascinating stories can come from the most boring objects. And sometimes it really shows a great amount of creativity.

And yet, sometimes they come from other places as well. I'm thinking of dreams. Dreams can be such a place for inspiration if you can remember what happened of course. They can be the most random, nonsensical images one can possibly imagine. Sometimes it doesn't even seem like there is a story there amongst the madness. But there is.

Maybe it is just a small scene within the dream, or a character, or a place. But there is something there that can really inspire you for something awesome. Recently I got a whole new fantasy series from a dream. It was such an experience to actually be part of the story before even writing it.

It was madness, but by searching through that madness and digging up the story I found something wonderful that can be polished into something grand. The work just comes from grasping on to the story and buckling down and writing it.

So don't be weary of awkward places of inspiration. Sometimes the adventure comes from finding the inspiration and not the writing itself.

What are your most random, interesting, adventurous objects that have inspired you to write?

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Weekly Workshop

Workshop: The Secret (prt. 2)

This week is another secret. But instead of your main character keeping a secret from (only) you, there is another character keeping a secret from your main character. Search through your characters and have one have a discussion with your main character. Let them reveal a secret about themselves that the Main-Char and, perhaps, even yourself didn't know. Like before, this can be a very simple secret to something life-changing.

Write out their scene, the secret, and the response. See what your character would feel and how they would respond to such a thing. Through this you will go even deeper into your character's personality or perhaps solidify your original idea about them.

The No Reaction Pain

In the post previously mentioned, I talk about stepping out of your box and commercializing yourself. It is an uncomfortable step to get known and have your work read. It is through this process that you can meet with some uncomfortable and upsetting feedback that could hurt even the most strong of person.

But sometimes it is not because of the negative reaction you will receive. Rejection can be a hard pill to swallow, but after realizing everyone goes through such a process, that it is simply another step in becoming a writer, it isn't too bad. Rejection can be made into a game even. The "How Many Rejection Letters Can I Get" game. A little cynical, but can be used into a positive light. Because the rejection is helping you get stronger. You are learning from it and getting advice and ways on how to get better.

There is also something humbling and professional about being rejected. It is a sign that you are becoming a writer, you are stepping into the world and facing its tough reality. There is sense of pride that should come with rejection. Your work has been read and you have a reaction from it.

Rejection can be something good and this good side can help ease the ego-bruising pain.

No Reaction, that is where the big crusher comes in. It is one thing to get a negative reaction from your story, it is another thing entirely to get nothing at all. How does one progress without hearing the positives an negatives from others? How can there even be a solid grasp on if you have something good when you can't get anyone to read? Or if they are reading, not telling you anything about it?

This is a big painful part of writing anything. Even those of us who are shy and hermit-like still want our work to be read and to get something from the public. When it feels like there is nothing but an awkward silence, you are left with your own self-doubts and mean words of criticism

Here are some words of advice on how to deal with this No Reaction.

1) The first step of advice I can give you is to not be too discouraged no matter how hard it is. An important part of being a writer is to maintain a positive, stubborn attitude. You have to always be willing to listen to advice and change at times, but I don't think you should ever give up and not let anyone ever tell you to either. If this writing project is worth something to you, that's all that matters.

2) The next thing is a bit of what was mentioned before: you have to get yourself out there. If one site is not giving you any attention, move on to the next site. And the next and the next. You are bound to catch the attention of someone. It just might be a long process because there are so many people out there fighting for attention of the masses. If a site doesn't work, maybe it is time to go out into the real world, away from our hermit lives and our Internet and just get people to read it and get their reaction. Might have to corner a friend or family member, but it is a good step.

3) This is important: time to follow great words, "do unto others as you would have done unto yourself". You are NOT the only one who feels ignored and that your writing isn't being given the attention it deserves. Go out there and find people like you and give their story some time of day. Give them the advice, critiques, and words of encouragement you are looking for. You will learn a lot about your own writing, possibly gain readers, and earn yourself karma. It is also never a bad thing to help out a fellow writer.

4) Sometimes a No Reaction IS a reaction and can be taken as a critique. If a person doesn't have something to say, positive or negative, it might not mean your writing is bad but that nothing stands out. It might be time for you to read over your work, study the work of others, and see if there is something (as harsh as it sounds) bland in what you have. Check over different parts of your story, because just one part of a story can have a great affect on it overall. Is there something off within how you are writing it? Maybe check the main character and see if he or she doesn't stand out in the way you want. Maybe there is something off or cliche in the story itself? There are so many things that can make a good story not stand out the way it should.

5) While painful, No Reaction is not the end of the world for you and your writing. It is just another step that some writers have to take while they grow and mature. Just keep trying and you will get past this hard moment. Trust me.

6) So many things can be molded into a positive. Make this another one of those things. Use a No Reaction and make it into a game like the Rejection one. Or see it as a challenge and that you can only get better from here. Don't let it get you down or stuck.

I bring this up because it happens very often. I started to feel it when I was looking at my own blog and the reactions I was getting. I started to go down the road of self-pity and harsh criticism when I realized how pointless and wrong that path is. I'm not the only one who goes through this, it's not the end of the world if something isn't given any sort of attention. It just means that other steps need to be taken to get the reaction that I want. I need to worker harder on my part to make a great impression.

You all can do it too! Don't let the No Reaction get you down! Much like the Rejection, take it and make it into something positive and use it to your own advantage.

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Weekly Workshop

Here I want to suggest some writing workshops for people to take that might be a great help to their novel or just writing in general. Some of these will be things I've made up, read from a book, or learned from a class. If it will be of any service to any one out there, I hope it will be used!

Workshop: The Secret (prt. 1)

Take your story, or a story you have written in the past, and sit down and have a conversation with a main character. Within this conversation you discover they have been keeping a secret from you, the author. It can be life changing, it can be very simple, but the point is it is something you had no idea was part of your character.

You can write out the conversation you have with them, just the secret itself, or write out the secret within the story itself and have it be reveled to you that way. The point is for you to dive deep into the mind, personality, and life of your character and bring out something new you were not aware of.