Insecure Writer's Support Group: April Edition
Dear Karma,
I am formally requesting a history of my actions and thoughts from the last year. It seems over the past six+ months I've been suffering from an onslaught of bad luck. While I do understand that life throws tests at people to strengthen them for the future and help them appreciate the better times, I feel like this particular onslaught has gone on for quite some time. It makes me wonder if my Karma-level has depleted due to negative actions and thoughts on my part. I do try to be good, positive, and aware of the "what goes around, comes around" motto, but am at a loss for previous actions that may have, let's say, triggered this avalanche of sourness.
Now, please don't get me wrong, I do appreciate what I have but recently I've found myself becoming pretty drained. I've lost my grandfather and been forced to deal with my unpleasant grandmother. My family has been going through a dry spell financially. I've lost a good GPA, a part on the Dean's List, and a scholarship all due to a language course I never plan on using in my career/life but am required to take anyway. Good friends of mine have suffered accidents. I've been on strict diets, started running, and do intense workouts and yet I have gained weight (and it don't look like muscle). Oh, and remember the language course I previously mentioned? It might cost my graduation. I'm suffering horrible insecurities about myself and writing. Writer's block feels like it's crawling from the shadows of my mind. And I'm still meeting a couple of bad luck occurrences practically daily (my new job at school might not be able to pay me in time, surprise French assignments, unhelpful departments, etc.).
I do feel grateful for what I have and for the appreciation and relief I will have once all of this is over and life gets back on an upbeat path again. I can count my blessings and still meet the day with a positive attitude. And while I will whine and sigh and mope, I promise I won't quit on anything. I do apologize if this comes out annoying. You know i hate to do stuff like this. But man I am curious about all of this, Karma!
I hope to hear back so I may leaner from my mistake and not make you so mad in the future.
Thank you in advanced!
--Paige
P.S.: I look forward to graduating in a few weeks. Please, please send enough luck for that accomplishment!
;A; hang in there bb! If you ever need to talk, I'm always here! Life always has its ups and downs. Sometimes it seems like there's just so much more downs than ups, bu the ups will come sooner or later.
ReplyDeleteAgain, I'm always here to talk!
This too shall pass. I think it is good though to get it out, sort of therapeutic. Some things I do are remember why I wanted to write in the first place, maybe go somewhere that makes you happy and doesn't have anything to do with school or writing and just breathe for a moment. Anyway hope things get better for you.
ReplyDeleteI often feel the same way, Paige. I'm dealing with some stuff at the moment, and I keep thinking, what on earth did I do to deserve this?? But, at times such as these, I know if I improve my outlook, things will look up. We just have to be ready to take a more positive stance. Easier said than done, trust me, I'm trying to convince myself with this comment. ;) Sure hope things began looking up for you!!
ReplyDelete