The idea of being rejected can be hard to take. It is being told that you're just not good enough. And it hurts badly. Your work, your courage, and perhaps even bits of yourself don't fit with what you really want. This can be to your manuscript, to asking that desired lovely out, to going after a job. That painful moment where it feels like hope has been taken from you. To sum it up, "no" is a painful process that is just part of every day reality.
But being told "no" does not have to be as terrible as it is. "No" does not equal a total rejection of who you are. This is just a way to grow and mature and become an even more courageous person for the next obstacle in your life.
There is so much about yourself you can discover and create from facing that terrible moment of "no". Don't miss out on an opportunity to hear the word because you are so afraid of it. Negativity and hardship can be the key to positivity and accomplishment.
How can anyone grow if their mistakes or flaws aren't mentioned? How does anyone as a writer or a person develop and get better if they don't see their outstanding possibilities? Without these moments of pain and "no" we wouldn't find out what else we could become.
You didn't get that job/lovely/contract? It's horrible and you deserve time to mourn of what could've been. But then you need to get back up and find that "yes" out there. Because you will find it in some form in a way you might not have expected you needed. You just might find the better person to share the rest of your life with. Perhaps that job would've stopped you from traveling around the world and finding a new dream. And just maybe there is a better twist to your story you weren't even aware of.
My family has a saying when something doesn't live up to expectations or the dreaded "no" was given. "Something better is meant to happen" and I find, for the most part, it is true. It just takes time and trying to make the better happen. Because it can't happen on its own. We gotta still put ourselves out there with the rejections to find it.
Never take "no" as a signal to give up. See it as a challenge to just prove it wrong.
Each rejection should be held as a warrior's mark and seen as an accomplishment. You took the step and tried. Do you know how hard it is to even make an attempt at something out of fear of rejection or a sense of nothing coming from it? Every day people fail to try because of "no". There are people who are sitting waiting for something to happen to them or just living in an empty mundane because they don't want to go out into the rejections.
Don't let the fear of rejection prevent you from ever trying something you truly want. As hard as it is to say and as hard as it is to do, sometimes you just need to swallow that pride and fear and let yourself do something you never thought you could do.
"Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come from it." -- Benjamin Mee (We Bought a Zoo)
Even if that greatness isn't seen instantly, you accomplished twenty seconds of bravery which is something not everyone can do. Set your stop watch and walk into that restaurant and say hi without worrying about the "no" that may or may not follow.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
The wonderful, kind, and talented Charity Pence has nominated me for the Liebster Award. Please take the time to go and check out her blog. You will find a lot of information, advice, inspiration, and reminders that we all are going through a fun but emotional process. So everyone go and check her out!
The Rules of the Liebster Award:
1) Thank the blogger who presented this award and link back to that person's blog.
2) Ask eleven questions posted by the presenter, ask your nominees eleven questions, and list eleven random facts about yourself.
3) Nominate eleven bloggers who you feel deserve this award and have less than 200 followers.
4) Post this award on your blog
Well, now is the time to get started on the rules! Let's start with Eleven Random Facts:
1) I am the president of the Creative Writing Club at my school. It's fun and exciting. There are so many people out there who want to write!
2) I'm about to turn 24 and I have yet to get my driver's license. Cars, driving, and the responsibility of such a powerful machine scares me. So I depend on friends and family to get me places. Hope to get it this summer though!
3) I am an incredibly insecure person and question my ability with anything.
4) I have an intense fan-crush on the anime character Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho. I've had this intense fan-crush for about ten plus years and it has not wavered one bit.
5) I have very deep conversations with myself. Sometimes in my head, sometimes out loud, and sometimes they really aren't that deep.
6) I have never worn makeup, without force, till about a month ago.
7) I have gotten a lot of inspiration for plots of stories from dreams. I've also gotten a lot from hardcore daydreams.
8) I would love to dress like a 50's housewife almost every day of my life. Though I have a bad fashion crush on pencil skirts.
9) If I wasn't on the path to being a writer or in the literature world, I would probably be in culinary school.
10) I've never had a romantic experience. Ever. But strangely people seem to come to me for romantic advice a lot.
11) I love organization. I love to have things really organized and pretty.
Now time for the questions given to me by Charity!:
1) What is your favorite day of the week and why?: I think I might have three. It is hard to say which one I like the most. I like Friday of course cause it means the weekend and a nice break. I like Saturday because it means no stress and hanging out with my family. And I like Wednesday because it is half-way through the week and it's a fun word. I also have more inspiration during the actual week.
2) What inspired you to become a writer?: I had a post about this a bit ago. I've always been attracted to writing. And I was actually good at it though it never really clicked with me it would be my passion. After some time, I found I really enjoyed it and loved writing fanfics. My parents noticed a drive in me before I did. It wasn't until I saw the movie of the book Eragon that it clicked that this is really, really what I want as my career and life.
3) What is your favorite place? Why is it your favorite?: To write, I would have to say in just a nice quiet, but exposed place. Like a classroom or Barnes & Noble. I don't feel as inspired to write if things are too still or quiet. To be more relaxed, it would be home. I love being around my family. Even if we don't talk. To have fun, right now I really like going out and seeing movies or window shopping with my cousin.
4) If you could have only one story published, what would it be about?: Just the thought is hard to take, haha. But if I could only choose one I think it would have to be the WIP I am doing now. This one gets me excited and is fun. It is one of my first big projects and one I am taking very seriously. I will probably be the happiest once it is published (positive thinking!). As for what it is about, I might have to do another post on that. But it is about a girl able to save a fantasy world with a very unique gift.
5) Do you listen to music while writing? If so, what?: Oh yes! Sometimes I don't when I am actually writing-writing, but when I start to imagine future scenes or even future stories I go to youtube (darn iTunes music doesn't wanna work) and just get lost. It can range from techno and dance like Nightcore, to alternative rock (I think that's the genre its under now) like FUN or 30 Seconds from Mars to pop like Will.iAm. I don't seem to have one genre of music I always follow.
6) What item can you not live without and why?: This is a tricky one. Well, since it it not who but what I will exclude my favorite plush (don't judge me, he does have a soul!) and family/friends. I think if I have to pick a what, it would be my laptop in general. Having the internet and Word always at my fingertips at any time of the day is something I love. I love reading, going to Barnes & Noble without needing to get into a car, writing, always having music, talking with best friends, and so on. I think I would have very bad withdrawals if I lost this thing.
7) What is your biggest pet peeve and why?: Hmm, well like everyone, I have quite a few pet peeves. As for the biggest one...I think I would have to say closed-minded selfishness. To be so lost in one's own world, constantly, drives me insane. Like those who drive dangerously or always overlook what someone does or is unable to ever share the spotlight. I think it is good to share conversation about other things and other people and not have it always come back to the person. I have a fear I do this though. Also, another HUGE pet-peeve is how it feels like heavy/curvy women should be exiled. I think it isn't fair that in the media and just in every-day-life that women who aren't super skinny or perfectly in shape can be hated.
8) What color describes you most and why?: My favorite, hands down, would be blue. I also think that a light shade of it, like periwinkle or baby-blue, might fit my personality the most. I'm very shy and don't stand out much. I'm not an aggressive person and would probably fit more in a background. I think I am also soft.
9) What is your favorite number and why?: 6 would be my favorite. Not sure why exactly but I've always liked the number. It was always disappointing that this was considered an evil number. I also like the number 4 and other even numbers.
10) If you could choose one genre to define your life, what would it be?: This is a hard one. I don't feel like I have one at the moment that really fits into a genre. I'm very boring and a bit of a lonely person. If anything I might be a self-help book cause I would be used as examples of a before (weight, insecurities, and shyness) and shown with steps on how to overcome things. I would want my life-genre to be romantic and fantasy/action, hah!
11) If you could change one even from your past, what would it be? Why?: Another difficult one. I think one would be when I scared my mom to tears by playing too far, I was around seven maybe. That's haunted me to this day.
Questions for my nominees!
1) What was the first job you've had? What job do you have now?
2) What is your biggest weakness?
3) What are your top three favorite foods?
4) Who or what is your biggest inspiration with writing?
5) In a story, would you be the main protagonist, the damsel, the villain, the side-kick, or the background character? Why?
6) Where do you hope to be in five years?
7) Who is your dream girl/boy?
8) Confidence booster time! What are five good/positive/amazing things about yourself?
9) What is your favorite holiday and why?
10) When and what made you realize you wanted to write?
11) Quick! The world is under attack! What is the weapon you go for, real or fictional?
My Nominees! Please all go check them out and give their wonderful blogs a good read!
Simon P. Clark
Von L Cid
I'm a bit short! I will keep looking for more people to nominate :)