Can't Doesn't Mean Failure

In a previous post, it was discussed about always trying despite fear of failing. But this shouldn't be taken to always try in all matters before you are ready. Just because you're unable to even try and run that whole mile doesn't mean that you have failed. You just now have a goal to inspire to. Don't look at what you can't do and look at what you're going to accomplish.

"I'm not ready to ask him out," "I couldn't even do one push up," "A university might not be for me yet,"--none of this means you will never be able to or you are a failure. You're not a coward for not being ready to make a romantic move. You're not a loser because you can't accomplish something new instantly. And just because a challenge is in your face that looks too intimidating doesn't mean you can never face it.

 So many things in life take time to get use to. Baby steps can be a necessity for success. No one should be so disappointed with themselves because they tried but couldn't. And just because you "can't" doesn't mean that you "can't" forever. Either keep trying or move on to something else till you are ready to try again.

And all of this can be the same for writing. Your first edition doesn't meet your expectations? You got rejected? Been about a month since you last wrote on your project? Don't let it hurt you! Just keep trying and don't let the "can't" keep you stuck at where you are.

If it is worth it to you, all your attempts won't fail you. Like in the last post, the failures are steps to mature and learn. You become stronger and better by learning from what you couldn't do a year ago. Don't let it hurt you, let it harden you and try even harder for the next time.

Need some more inspiration? Take a minute to check out these famous failures and realize that you can always amount to anything no matter what happens.

Don't Be Afraid of No

The idea of being rejected can be hard to take. It is being told that you're just not good enough. And it hurts badly. Your work, your courage, and perhaps even bits of yourself don't fit with what you really want. This can be to your manuscript, to asking that desired lovely out, to going after a job. That painful moment where it feels like hope has been taken from you. To sum it up, "no" is a painful process that is just part of every day reality.

But being told "no" does not have to be as terrible as it is. "No" does not equal a total rejection of who you are. This is just a way to grow and mature and become an even more courageous person for the next obstacle in your life.

There is so much about yourself you can discover and create from facing that terrible moment of "no". Don't miss out on an opportunity to hear the word because you are so afraid of it. Negativity and hardship can be the key to positivity and accomplishment.

How can anyone grow if their mistakes or flaws aren't mentioned? How does anyone as a writer or a person develop and get better if they don't see their outstanding possibilities? Without these moments of pain and "no" we wouldn't find out what else we could become.

You didn't get that job/lovely/contract? It's horrible and you deserve time to mourn of what could've been. But then you need to get back up and find that "yes" out there. Because you will find it in some form in a way you might not have expected you needed. You just might find the better person to share the rest of your life with. Perhaps that job would've stopped you from traveling around the world and finding a new dream. And just maybe there is a better twist to your story you weren't even aware of.

My family has a saying when something doesn't live up to expectations or the dreaded "no" was given. "Something better is meant to happen" and I find, for the most part, it is true. It just takes time and trying to make the better happen. Because it can't happen on its own. We gotta still put ourselves out there with the rejections to find it.

Never take "no" as a signal to give up. See it as a challenge to just prove it wrong.

Each rejection should be held as a warrior's mark and seen as an accomplishment. You took the step and tried. Do you know how hard it is to even make an attempt at something out of fear of rejection or a sense of nothing coming from it? Every day people fail to try because of "no".  There are people who are sitting waiting for something to happen to them or just living in an empty mundane because they don't want to go out into the rejections.

Don't let the fear of rejection prevent you from ever trying something you truly want. As hard as it is to say and as hard as it is to do, sometimes you just need to swallow that pride and fear and let yourself do something you never thought you could do.

"Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come from it." -- Benjamin Mee (We Bought a Zoo)

Even if that greatness isn't seen instantly, you accomplished twenty seconds of bravery which is something not everyone can do. Set your stop watch and walk into that restaurant and say hi without worrying about the "no" that may or may not follow.