Dear Karma

Insecure Writer's Support Group: April Edition 

Dear Karma,

I am formally requesting a history of my actions and thoughts from the last year. It seems over the past six+ months I've been suffering from an onslaught of bad luck. While I do understand that life throws tests at people to strengthen them for the future and help them appreciate the better times, I feel like this particular onslaught has gone on for quite some time. It makes me wonder if my Karma-level has depleted due to negative actions and thoughts on my part. I do try to be good, positive, and aware of the "what goes around, comes around" motto, but am at a loss for previous actions that may have, let's say, triggered this avalanche of sourness.

Now, please don't get me wrong, I do appreciate what I have but recently I've found myself becoming pretty drained. I've lost my grandfather and been forced to deal with my unpleasant grandmother. My family has been going through a dry spell financially. I've lost a good GPA, a part on the Dean's List, and a scholarship all due to a language course I never plan on using in my career/life but am required to take anyway. Good friends of mine have suffered accidents. I've been on strict diets, started running, and do intense workouts and yet I have gained weight (and it don't look like muscle). Oh, and remember the language course I previously mentioned? It might cost my graduation. I'm suffering horrible insecurities about myself and writing. Writer's block feels like it's crawling from the shadows of my mind. And I'm still meeting a couple of bad luck occurrences practically daily (my new job at school might not be able to pay me in time, surprise French assignments, unhelpful departments, etc.).

I do feel grateful for what I have and for the appreciation and relief I will have once all of this is over and life gets back on an upbeat path again. I can count my blessings and still meet the day with a positive attitude. And while I will whine and sigh and mope, I promise I won't quit on anything. I do apologize if this comes out annoying. You know i hate to do stuff like this. But man I am curious about all of this, Karma!

I hope to hear back so I may leaner from my mistake and not make you so mad in the future.

Thank you in advanced!

--Paige

P.S.: I look forward to graduating in a few weeks. Please, please send enough luck for that accomplishment!

Writer's Weakness

Insecure Writers Support Group: January Edition

As a writer, or as a person in any field in the world, we all have to admit there is something we struggle in or just can't do as well as we would like. There are some who are fabulous with romance, but can't do a thing when it comes to thriller or adventure. There are some who can only write nonfiction and find fiction too much out-there to handle.

I think the first step in any weakness is admitting that you have them. Even if you never want to branch out of the romance genre, just admitting it is difficult for you to do any other genre is a right step rather than simply saying you don't like the other genres (not like this is not acceptable or true). If you can find me a writer that can do every length, age group, and genre and you might have found Jesus who has been watching the world before the next End of the World.

It just, probably (never say never after all), is not possible for one person to not only write them all but write them all good, not great or fantastic, but simply good.

So for the start of the new year, before we all start on our resolutions, let's look at the flaws and struggles we have. Admitting and facing them are huge in terms of overcoming them and making them stronger.

Here are my writer's weakness:

1) Short stories/micros/minis: I really want to get better at this but I seem to struggle with the short stories compared to the long ones. Even with my fan fiction, I do better when I do chapters upon chapters or pages upon pages than a one-shot. My best story-example (one I am most proud of and has some of the most reviews) is 26 chapters and over 400,000 words. That is my comfort zone. To me, writing less is so difficult and those who are able to tell a wonderful and condensed story is just too awesome for me and my brain to handle.

2) Over-detail/Analyzing: This is a weakness I have in talking as well. I struggle just communicating simply and straightforward. I want to explain and elaborate. I tell as story within a story within a story because that is just how my brain works. It can get confusing and way too elaborate and long. Instead of simply saying "he walked to the main door" I might go "he moved up to the entrance to the intimidating mansion, taking note of all the silvery cobwebs that blew in the fall breeze". This isn't bad every so often, but I feel I do it way more than I probably should. Within many writing books, it is key to be simple. I don't always take the simple route when I should.

3) Too Much Character: I think I have a tendency in putting too much on the characters. This isn't too bad if I still balanced it out with the plot and other aspects of writing. But sometimes I think I put too much concentration on the character, their relationship, details, and movement and it takes away from the plot longer than it should. A story will typically work with characters and plot, especially for young adult fantasy. It can't just be dissecting a character or giving each person who enters the scene a in depth background story.

4) Grammar: Yes, I can be hit with the nasty-grammar. It's hard to remember it all! At least this one isn't the biggest issue. Just re-reading, getting a few BETAs, and editors. But it is pretty bad when you're an English major and still struggle with placement of some of the punctuation.

5) Moving On: It is hard to move on from a chapter or a paragraph or even a sentence until I get it right. I seem to put up a mental block that prevents me from writing until everything beforehand is perfect. Even though it is good to try and pull the best from the story, it should not hinder an author from completing the story. And sadly, I can do this to myself. Pulling a cameo from a previous blog-post of mine, I struggle to find the Good Enough at times. How can you ever complete something if you can't move on?

6) Genre-Horror/Mystery/Angst/Emotional: I honestly enjoy horror and mystery in shows and books. I'm fascinated by the paranormal (though it terrifies me) and give me a good mystery book and I'll be happy. But these are very hard genres. With mystery-driven stories you need to really watch what is revealed and how it is. How much the audience can figure out. Twists and turns. Bad guys and epic reveals. Then with horror, it is all about the tension and the pace, making a person's stomach twist and get the perfect reaction. It's hard! I will say I am not big on Angst or Drama focused books. I think that genre should be brought in, but I can't handle sadness so I don't read books that are super emotional or angst-driven (such as teen-drama books about drugs, rape, etc.). I have never tried a purely emotional-angst-driven story before and I'm sure I will ever try simply because I do not want to start bawling.

7) Genre-Nonfiction: This is very hard for me. I don't typically read it, I have yet to go to the Nonfiction section of any bookstore and pick one up. I also find it very hard to write. It feels like it takes a lot of effort and a lot of special talent to be able to write a nonfiction story. However, this is another one I don't think I have made an actual attempt for one.

8) Resisting the Romance: I can't tell you how I always twitch to add some form of Romance in everything I write. And if something doesn't have romance, all I want to do is add it in. But what is weird is that I don't typically enjoy fluffy romance (especially YA or Teen) books.

Well, I know I have a lot more, but these would have to be some of my main ones. Each writer has one or more and it is part of the process to look and accept these weaknesses before either moving on or facing them to better one's talent. It is just another step in being a professional writer, I believe.

What about you all? Got any weaknesses to share?

Finding the Good Enough

Insecure Writer's Support Group--November Edition

Better later than never, right? Just been a hard few weeks so I am a bit behind.

A little bit ago, my teacher for Technical Editing mentioned a good, professional writer can see when something is good enough. And that sounds pretty spot on, in my opinion.

Writers can go through so many editions, rewrites, editing, double-checking, and overall suffering from the lack of perfection. But I don't think a work in process can ever really reach the level of perfection. I'm not sure that level exists for anything in the world. If one was to constantly aim for that they will never be ready to let go of their project.

17, 50, 98 editions and years later and it's still not to the level you want....it's because one hasn't been able to see the 'good enough' and move on. Can anything really ever be perfection? As covered in a previous post, I just don't think it can. An author will just need to know when the project is good enough to submit.

And just because you send it off doesn't mean that it is gone out of twitchy fingers forever. We all know it takes an astronomical amount of luck to get accepted by agents/publishers instantly. You will probably have time to keep learning and to edit a little. But during Spring, I listened to a short-story author speak at the school and he said that there are works that have been published that he could've gone over multiple times, forever perhaps. But he had sent it in and it was published and it was very well received.

OK, I think we can all agree that there needs to be a time where you say "alright, that's good enough" but how on earth do you get to that? If anyone knows an actual answer, please share! I can only assume it is just about training and just pushing the project away.

Perhaps it is just about getting excited or impatient and sending the work in? Though that sounds a bit risky, it does give you a chance to branch out and try to get it read. But if you're rejected, you just started the learning process early and maybe you will be lucky enough to be told what is wrong.

But what if you don't want to send something in before you know that you have reached that good enough? Well, there is the pickle. It could be very personal and whenever you feel that you are ready, however that moment might not hit everyone.

I would say, you probably should rewrite the story more than three or four times and shouldn't re-edit more than MAYBE seven (overall). Once you start reaching those numbers, you might want to step back and start sending them in. In general, if these numbers make you uncomfortable, I would keep it all under the number 10. UNLESS you really do need to completely change up your story, you shouldn't be going overboard like that.

Now is this the right now? More than likely not. This is just my personal opinion.

In truth, I think you must set up a personal limit. Tell yourself you will NOT go over 10, 12, 15 editions or rewrites. Once you reach that number, you will let it go. Maybe you will come back to it, maybe it will be accepted and publishing, or just maybe you need to step back from it for a while and move on to another project.

Now, just to let you know, I am not saying be lazy or not try. Work hard on your project. Give it the love and attention that it deserves. If this is your dream, work hard to make sure that you reach that dream.

Just don't let the haunting thought of perfection control you from ever sending out your work. Just take a deep breath and take the plunge into sending things out once you think you have reached "it's good enough".

Depression & Writing

Insecure Writer's Support Group--October Edition

The new semester started a month ago and it has greatly affected my writing and my life. It was a hard start. For some reason, I just became overwhelmed with all the work that needed to be done and being so close to the end of my BA (next semester, whoot!). I couldn't concentrate and couldn't seem to function positively. I actually felt more inspired to goof off and write rather than study or do any work.

I was crying and stressing out daily. I'm so close to the end! I have a scholarship and am on the Dean's List! How could I possibly be quitting when I'm so close to finishing everything off with such a good note?

Well, after going to discuss this with a counselor and chatting with my parents, it seems I was so overwhelmed (particularly with my language course). I had the idea that I wasn't good enough if I got anything less than an A, lose the scholarship, and not just be perfect on everything. It was just hitting me hard and with six classes, it can get really stressful really fast.

After the talks, and realizing I am, indeed, a perfectionist, I just had to step back and come to a realization that no one is perfect and being perfect does not mean it I become a failure. I was just viewing everything in such a black-&-white way. Getting a C in French would not ruin me for the rest of my life nor would it be a devastating loss to not have the scholarship for my final semester. I couldn't let these little details overwhelm me and have everything else be totally ruined.

Though hard, I had to let it all go. Stop worrying so much over everything. It is still hard today. I am so far behind because I was in a sort of...depressive neutral state for about four of the six weeks of my classes. I have to try and control those feelings, catch up on all the classes, run a club, and try to find some time to write.

But things are better now, at least emotionally and working with a more positive and strong attitude.

Now, I don't want to just sit here and talk about the depression (especially since it concerned more about school than writing). Instead, I would like to talk about how this can help with writing and life.

Simple. As said before, no one is perfect and not being perfect doesn't instantly mean failure. Don't go by the quote "If you're not first, you're last!" (Ricky Bobby, lol). The world isn't made up of all winners and failures.

Don't let the pressure of being the "perfect" writer overwhelm you. Stop fretting over the details. Yes, those details are vital and important, but they are not worth losing everything for. Especially your health and sanity.

Take some time and give yourself a pep-talk. Don't let the one class, one assignment, one chapter, or one character tear everything down. Remember perspective! And always go to someone when you start to lose that perspective. Never be afraid to go to someone for help. You never have to go through any of these things alone.