Finding the Good Enough

Insecure Writer's Support Group--November Edition

Better later than never, right? Just been a hard few weeks so I am a bit behind.

A little bit ago, my teacher for Technical Editing mentioned a good, professional writer can see when something is good enough. And that sounds pretty spot on, in my opinion.

Writers can go through so many editions, rewrites, editing, double-checking, and overall suffering from the lack of perfection. But I don't think a work in process can ever really reach the level of perfection. I'm not sure that level exists for anything in the world. If one was to constantly aim for that they will never be ready to let go of their project.

17, 50, 98 editions and years later and it's still not to the level you want....it's because one hasn't been able to see the 'good enough' and move on. Can anything really ever be perfection? As covered in a previous post, I just don't think it can. An author will just need to know when the project is good enough to submit.

And just because you send it off doesn't mean that it is gone out of twitchy fingers forever. We all know it takes an astronomical amount of luck to get accepted by agents/publishers instantly. You will probably have time to keep learning and to edit a little. But during Spring, I listened to a short-story author speak at the school and he said that there are works that have been published that he could've gone over multiple times, forever perhaps. But he had sent it in and it was published and it was very well received.

OK, I think we can all agree that there needs to be a time where you say "alright, that's good enough" but how on earth do you get to that? If anyone knows an actual answer, please share! I can only assume it is just about training and just pushing the project away.

Perhaps it is just about getting excited or impatient and sending the work in? Though that sounds a bit risky, it does give you a chance to branch out and try to get it read. But if you're rejected, you just started the learning process early and maybe you will be lucky enough to be told what is wrong.

But what if you don't want to send something in before you know that you have reached that good enough? Well, there is the pickle. It could be very personal and whenever you feel that you are ready, however that moment might not hit everyone.

I would say, you probably should rewrite the story more than three or four times and shouldn't re-edit more than MAYBE seven (overall). Once you start reaching those numbers, you might want to step back and start sending them in. In general, if these numbers make you uncomfortable, I would keep it all under the number 10. UNLESS you really do need to completely change up your story, you shouldn't be going overboard like that.

Now is this the right now? More than likely not. This is just my personal opinion.

In truth, I think you must set up a personal limit. Tell yourself you will NOT go over 10, 12, 15 editions or rewrites. Once you reach that number, you will let it go. Maybe you will come back to it, maybe it will be accepted and publishing, or just maybe you need to step back from it for a while and move on to another project.

Now, just to let you know, I am not saying be lazy or not try. Work hard on your project. Give it the love and attention that it deserves. If this is your dream, work hard to make sure that you reach that dream.

Just don't let the haunting thought of perfection control you from ever sending out your work. Just take a deep breath and take the plunge into sending things out once you think you have reached "it's good enough".

Am I Crazy?

I think so.

You know, I notice (and have been told multiple times) that I don't vent. I tend to keep things to myself. In truth I hate venting. I always feel, sorta, worse afterwards. But I don't seem to express my own fears, doubts, and insecurities and it seems a bit unfair that I seem to talk about how to fix problems when I don't have the courage enough to stand up and say "I, personally, have this problem".

Anywho, my problem is school and lack of time. I no longer have that depression, but I am taking on a lot of things this semester that is really overwhelming at times. It is good to have a lot of things for a Senior; bulk up the CV, make connections, make friends, and have life-long experiences. So, I'm not necessarily regretting my choices so far, but man I am wondering a bit if I am biting off more than I can chew.

Just to give you an idea of my semester:

I am taking six classes: French 3, Old English, Romantic Literature, Ancient Philosophy, Philosophy of Religion, and Technical Editing. And let me tell you, French 3 is horrible. I struggle with languages terribly, so being required to take a class where the teaching doesn't fit everyone's needs is pretty difficult. And in all honesty, we think this class was a main cause of my depression fit earlier this semester.

And this opens up to another thing: I am trying for a 4.0. It doesn't look possible because of French (curse you foreign language requirement) which was pretty upsetting to myself (this also ties back to trying to let go of being perfect). But everything else I am aiming for an A in, which takes a lot of time.

Then, there is my huge health/weight goal. I am trying to lose about 40 pounds before May. I'll just come right out and say I have high cholesterol (thank you genetics....and cheese. curse you cheese). And have been overweight for the majority of my life. I made it a goal to get my degree as healthy as I can be and this also takes time. I try to work out multiple times daily, training to start running, eating healthy...it takes time and studying to be healthy! I also got a work-out addiction from my dad, we don't seem to function, sleep, or feel refreshed and happy without sweating sometime during the day.

And then there are the extracurricular activities. I am the historian for Sigma Tau Delta (English Honor Society) and the president of the Creative Writing Club. And the club is sort of restarting so I am working together with some people to make it really organized and strong, trying out a lot of new ideas, and forming up new procedures and forms. I'm also a tutor for philosophy and english (though so far, I'm only being used for Logic) and working with a career counselor to put together presentations for students who are interested in going into the publishing field.

Also, working on making career connections. Trying to land an internship/mentorships with a teacher for next semester. Applying to all sorts of places for careers. Looking to apply to publishing companies for internships or doing teaching programs. I have been going to many meetings and dinners to get information and make connections. I seem to have one twice a week!

And I am doing all of this while trying to get my second edition of my WIP done, have two blogs (this and a cooking one), get myself and my writing noticed, and have somewhat of a social life with my family....while resisting buying loads of fall boots (curse you gorgeous boots).

It is a frantic semester with something new every week. But, I guess that is life, right? When writing, we're going to have to learn to do it while balancing so many other things. Guess this really could be seen as a great training. I'm getting a lot of experience for jobs and what an adult needs to face.

I suppose there is no real topic or theme or discussion for this one. Just thought I would try something new and see about venting? I'm not sure. I'm still not too good at this! But, I'll keep trying if it works out positively for me.

To survive in laugh, gotta remain positive and think that everything, or most everything, that I do now can really help and affect my future. Trying my hardest now might mean great things for me really soon. So I will keep trying hard, keep a smile on my face, and think of what this will mean to me later on.

Little hard work won't kill anyone after all!

Depression & Writing

Insecure Writer's Support Group--October Edition

The new semester started a month ago and it has greatly affected my writing and my life. It was a hard start. For some reason, I just became overwhelmed with all the work that needed to be done and being so close to the end of my BA (next semester, whoot!). I couldn't concentrate and couldn't seem to function positively. I actually felt more inspired to goof off and write rather than study or do any work.

I was crying and stressing out daily. I'm so close to the end! I have a scholarship and am on the Dean's List! How could I possibly be quitting when I'm so close to finishing everything off with such a good note?

Well, after going to discuss this with a counselor and chatting with my parents, it seems I was so overwhelmed (particularly with my language course). I had the idea that I wasn't good enough if I got anything less than an A, lose the scholarship, and not just be perfect on everything. It was just hitting me hard and with six classes, it can get really stressful really fast.

After the talks, and realizing I am, indeed, a perfectionist, I just had to step back and come to a realization that no one is perfect and being perfect does not mean it I become a failure. I was just viewing everything in such a black-&-white way. Getting a C in French would not ruin me for the rest of my life nor would it be a devastating loss to not have the scholarship for my final semester. I couldn't let these little details overwhelm me and have everything else be totally ruined.

Though hard, I had to let it all go. Stop worrying so much over everything. It is still hard today. I am so far behind because I was in a sort of...depressive neutral state for about four of the six weeks of my classes. I have to try and control those feelings, catch up on all the classes, run a club, and try to find some time to write.

But things are better now, at least emotionally and working with a more positive and strong attitude.

Now, I don't want to just sit here and talk about the depression (especially since it concerned more about school than writing). Instead, I would like to talk about how this can help with writing and life.

Simple. As said before, no one is perfect and not being perfect doesn't instantly mean failure. Don't go by the quote "If you're not first, you're last!" (Ricky Bobby, lol). The world isn't made up of all winners and failures.

Don't let the pressure of being the "perfect" writer overwhelm you. Stop fretting over the details. Yes, those details are vital and important, but they are not worth losing everything for. Especially your health and sanity.

Take some time and give yourself a pep-talk. Don't let the one class, one assignment, one chapter, or one character tear everything down. Remember perspective! And always go to someone when you start to lose that perspective. Never be afraid to go to someone for help. You never have to go through any of these things alone.

My Writing History

(new template! Feels a bit more fitting.)

Like most, I have had a dream to be a published novelist. Writing has been one of the only talents I have been aware and proud of since I was little. 

I remember, back when I was in about the third grade I was a shy girl (shyer than I am now) and didn't have much passion for anything. Then our class (of about 15) had a little writing competition. Just write about something in your life and I wrote about my puppy at the time, Hannah. I had no faith in myself, though I really wanted to win the trophy (a stuffed beaver doll). The time came and the teacher began to read out the winning story. I was so insecure about it that I didn't even recognize it was my own story!

That was the first sign to me that I might have something I am actually good at. Of course, at that age it didn't really click that I could do this for a living. At that age, you're mostly introduced into the world of being a doctor or a teacher. But so many things throughout my life kept bringing me back to writing.

When I was about eleven I discovered anime and then at about twelve or thirteen I discovered the world of fanfiction (through fanfiction.net). At first I wanted to write cause I was a typical fangirl with a Mary-Sue/Self Insertion character I wanted to have claim a bishie. But after really starting with my anime love YuGiOh and my fan-crush Tea (except for my one anime love (HIEI), I've always loved the female characters in animes) I noticed I was actually getting a fan base. 

Soon, I started taking it real serious. I covered different genres; romance, action, and slapstick humor. I went from different worlds (Naruto, Bleach, Yu Yu Hakusho, Danny Phantom, Harry Potter), created new worlds (the AUs) and kept getting popularity.

I was actually writing something that a lot of people were reading and enjoying.

But it still wasn't fully clicking that this was something I wanted to do. The thought was there, but for some reason it just wasn't obvious that I could try and do this for a living. There was talk about it, thoughts about it, but I don't think I ever proclaimed out loud, "I want to be an author."

Perhaps it was still insecurity. Perhaps I felt like I shouldn't be an author, it's not a "real" job. I do remember mom and dad speaking to me about it, that they felt like this was something I love. I think I might've even said I wanted to write a book. But I don't think I ever said "author".

Whatever it was, it just wasn't something that was ready to click.

Until I saw Eragon. 

I remember I had really enjoyed that first book. I remember that the author was so young and was already writing and doing something he really loved, and profiting from it.

And I remember how utterly disappointed I was in the movie. 

I complained the whole way back home. "If it was my book I wouldn't let Hollywood do that." or "It was such a good story, why didn't it get on the screen right?" of course, it probably had more of a whiny high-schooler tone to it. But moving on...

And mom asked me, "Well, why don't you make one yourself? You seem to like it. You talk about stories and writing a lot."

And I finally answered, "I will!" 

That was the for sure moment I made up my mind to try and be like Christopher Paolini. It has taken years, still far behind the man that actually got me to start doing something seriously, but I am on a more serious road in doing something that I hadn't realized been my dream for years.

Still moving slower than I would like, but I am obtaining so many years of experience. I am learning something new about myself, strengthening my writing, and meeting so many new people who are helping me succeed in this.

What about you? When and what got you to realize "this is what I want to do. I want to be an author"?

The Sunshine Award

My very first award here! I can't thank Randi Lee enough for her kindness in giving this to me. In truth, words are failing me a bit in just how much this means.

Never receiving something like this before, I will just be winging it a bit. Once the award is received, you have to put the picture above into a post and link back to the person who is giving the award to you (thanks again Randi!) You have to then answer ten questions or post seven random facts about yourself. After which, gotta spread the award along to 10 more bloggers!

Well, no promises that ten can be reached, but I will certainly aim for that!

Seven Random Facts

1) I have a bad addiction to journals, books, and school supplies. My closet is filled with untouched journals, I have no room for the books I have, and don't ever seem to put all my supplies to good use. But they are so wonderful I couldn't possibly part from any of them.

2) Polka-dots are my favorite pattern. I have clothes, bags, quilts, and a piggy-banks with polka-dots on them.

3) I am hyper organized and can fret if I can't organize things to my liking.

4) If I don't get to work-out more than four times a week I start to get stressed. Working out seems to be the best way for me to vent out any frustration and without it I start to get ready to pull my hair out and cry.

5) I have had a fan-crush on the same anime character for over ten years.

6) I am twenty-three yet have never had, nor wanted, to drink liquor.

7) Still have not read the last Harry Potter book

And the award goes to...

Well I haven't made my way through a lot of blogs just yet. But the ones to receive this award are those who are providing very inspirational, enjoyable, advice-filled blogs that truly deserve as many awards as possible.

J.W. Alden
Diana Carlisle
Ivy Lee

Thank you so much again Randi for this. This truly means a lot to me :) thank you.