How to Write...

...when you simply don't want to.

 

Cause man, there are times I just DON’T want to write. I don’t mean a writer’s block, there are ideas there…but no drive to write them down. And it’s not just about my novel. I just feel lazy to do useful stuff. I won’t go and read and review blogs, write my fanfiction, write updates for my own blog, etc.

There is just simply a sense of laziness where I just feel like I don’t even want to pick up a pencil. The things on TV or YouTube just sound so much more intriguing. Even things that would typically inspire me to write just don’t shine like they would typically.

It’s like a whiny pre-teen saying “the world doesn’t want me to!”. Thank goodness, I realized instantly it was my own fault, but even that didn’t get me to writing anything.

So what to do when there is no drive to attempt to do any writing?

In truth, I’m not a 100% sure myself.

This round, I had to just let it pass on its own. Forcing myself to get into a writing mood, to think of a new post for the blog, even going and reading & reviewing….it didn’t work out. It certainly made me feel pretty bad about not doing anything, but even that didn’t move me enough.

It just had to happen when it was meant to happen.

But first a question; is it a real bad thing to not want to write?

At first, I would say “OMG YES” because it is emotionally taxing to not do your passion. I feel like I am missing out on opportunities. Deadlines and goals I had made for myself are slipping away. I’m being far too lazy for it to be beneficial.

However, there is another side to this.

Let’s look at it from a physical stance. Anyone who works out and does sports probably knows you gotta have at least one day of rest so you don’t damage your body. And your body can give you signs that it needs to stop. Perhaps this was my mind telling me it needed a break.

After all, you can’t look at the same thing every day and catch something new. A break just might be needed to find the things you were missing.

After this “lazy break”, I am finding new sides to my story, finding awkward things I had missed over, inspired to write about it in this post…and it is possible all of this is coming through because of stopping.

But, I will be the first to admit I don’t think I went about it the best way. I think I went a few weeks without any type of progression with my writing. If it was a Writer’s Block, yes it would stink, but it would feel more like I was sick. This, as a mentioned before, feels like I was just lazy and didn’t even try to become inspired.

Taking a break is one thing. Letting it work itself out isn’t that bad either. But I’m not sure if I made enough of an attempt to get over this lazy hump. I was simply too lazy to try.

So, in simple terms I always think it never hurts to try…even when you really don’t want too. Even just a sentence or two that you might scrap later, it is still something you did and tried for. If that is all you can manage that one day, well, you had a good shot!

I think it should be done, not because I am anti-lazy or having a pity-fest about my lack of writing, but because you never know what will be the thing to re-ignite the writing spark.

I’ll leave off with a quote from Writer’s Digest;

“One thing that helps is to give myself permission to write badly. I tell myself that I’m going to do my five or ten pages no matter what, and that I can always tear them up the following morning if I want. I’ll have lost nothing—writing and tearing up five pages would leave me no further behind than if I took the day off.” -- Lawrence Block (June 1981)

Always try. I don’t think there is ever a loss to trying, but there can be great loss in not.

Learning to Let Go

I realized after I posted, I missed the Insecure Writer's Support Group: July Edition by one day, so I will make this one mine, if that is legal.

I will start off by just saying life loves to get in the way of writing. It’s madness! But school and computer problems and illness just always sneak up and overwhelms you when you really don’t need it. And Princess Peach, you can’t just leave her locked in the tower! I mean…it’s not right.

Anyway, the distractions aside, it is time to get back to business.

I am in the process of another re-write of my novel.  At the moment the prologue is being rewritten for about the eighth time and I am finding myself at a point that most writers probably face: when you have to let go.

Except for about the first two or three editions, the book has always started with the line “Once upon a time, war was the dream of the people” and now I am finding myself so hooked on to this one sentence I have based every re-write since then on that one sentence alone.

And, like my writer’s identity, I wasn’t fully aware I was doing it until I had a slap-in-the-face realization.

My start chapter might start off with a line I am proud of, but everything following after has always sounded stale, forced, and just plain “meh”. Is that one line really worth it?

For a long time, it was.

How on earth did that happen? Though I am a writer and though I want to write a book, I can’t forget about the fact that these are just words. Though the words create something great, they are still words.

And I should not let a few words, a sentence, a paragraph, a page, or a chapter control and constrict the story as a whole. Things might be shared through the words, but they aren’t the only things that are contributing to the book.

So, I have to let these words go. Though painful, it is just what has to be done for the greater good of the novel.

I found I had to give myself a stern talking to. I needed to sit down and converse with Randi and myself before I finally deleted them and left myself with a completely blank page. It is rejuvenating, inspiring, and heartbreaking all at the same time.

Now, how to let it go? Well, in all honesty, I don’t think anyone can till they realize they are ready for it themselves. My best friend and mentor probably couldn’t get me to let it go until I was ready. Heck, the most distinguished published author probably couldn’t have gotten me to let it go either.

Because these words just mean so much during creation, and that love and pride just get in the way. Not until I or anyone else is ready can those words be deleted.

And man, once they are, I look back and go “what the heck was wrong with me?”. It feels like so much time was wasted! I could’ve let it go earlier and moved on! But I have to remember:

Not until I am ready. And everyone goes at their own proper, healthy, right pace. Rushing, typically, just won’t help. I think pushing myself is good, to work and try to get things accomplished after so long of not writing or to meet a goal…but like the words; that time-line is not worth the destruction of the story!

That, I think, is what the kicker is. When the realization that the story is worth more than this one lovely thing, then everything starts to fall more into play. But it does stink waiting for that moment to finally click.

What about your experience? Has there been something that you just struggled with letting go? Please share!